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Green Mango Latest Posts
Reasons not to date me
I think scrambled eggs are legitimate dinner fare.I am certifiably bilingual, and yet still hesitant to speak French within earshot of a francophone.*I am unable to resist manhandling the produce at the each of countless markets on my walk home from the train station.Inexplicably and without... Read more...
Published 1 week ago
Long weekend blues
Is there a long weekend in your near future? Great. I hope you enjoy it. Well, the beginning part, at least. Because it will end badly. I guarantee you.You will travel for five hours across land and sea, stopping (of course) to buy a typewriter on the way home. You will foolishly pick up a... Read more...
Published 1 month ago
Textual healing
I bought three typewriters the week before last. I think that may be two typewriters too many for a one-person household.Might even be three typewriters too many. But I'd rather not dwell on that.If you're free, come over and we can write letters together! On real paper. And send them to people... Read more...
Published 1 month ago
Never send a man to do a girl's job
Oh, hello. Are you still here? I thought you'd left. What's that you say? You thought I'd left?Naw.I, for one, have been very busy dressing up like an old man so I can play shuffle board and boccie ball without being ostracized, and enjoying the spoils from the deli meat factory outlet store that... Read more...
Published 2 months ago
Best thing/Worst thing
THE WORST THINGGetting a paper cut in your eye. Or, possibly, violence against the innocent. Or being sick. One of those three.THE BEST THINGBathtime!THE BEST THING ABOUT BATHTIMEBath Crayons!WHAT I REMEMBER ABOUT NOT BEING SICK AND/OR HOW IT MUST FEEL TO HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO STAND IN THE SHOWER... Read more...
Published 3 months ago
Sick and Tired
I (half) remember reading one of Gordon Korman's Bruno and Boots books wherein Boots (or possibily Bruno) explains that the best way to get out of class is to declare that you are siiiiiiiiick. With nine I's. It's not too many to make it seem that you are feigning illness (even though you... Read more...
Published 3 months ago
Reasons not to date me
Chances are at whatever time you are reading this, day or night, my underwear is showing.I was totally serious about that leg hair thing.I am allergic to the following: raw apples, peaches, pears, plums, apricots, nectarines, cherries, carrots, almondscats (raw or otherwise)artificial food... Read more...
Published 3 months ago
Missed Connections
You: Sunday afternoon nap in my unbelievably comfortable bed.Me: Sleep-deprived mango on a spontaneous walk with two girlfriends. I am miserable without you. Let's try again next week? E-mail me if you see this.~g. mango is looking forward to the sweet, sweet bed-head Read more...
Published 3 months ago
Global Warming is broken
Global Warming has been cancelled this week.Yesterday it hailed in Vancouver. Today it is expected to snow. I am about to embark on a journey to the grocery store in two-degree weather. In Vancouver. At the end of March. And this after walking around in shorts and a t-shirt in February, the... Read more...
Published 3 months ago
How to Fill those Unending Hours: A Guide to Productive Unemployment
Learn how to do things by yourself. Now that you're unemployed, you have tonnes of time on your hands. Your friends, God bless them, are still happily employed and likely won't be able to skip their weekly staff meeting to play mini golf on Wednesday morning. You can still hang out with them in... Read more...
Published 4 months ago
Further reasons not to date me
I have the attention span of a grapefruit.I have the heart of a lion. I bought it in Chinatown for $14.I might be arrested for aggravated assault the next time I hear the words "female" or "male" used as nouns.I listen to Prince, Ella, and Timbaland without even so much as one ounce of shame.I... Read more...
Published 5 months ago
Things that I am giving up for Lent 2008
Today is the start of the Lenten season. And though I am not Catholic, and was not raised in the tradition of abstaining during Lent, I quite enjoy archaic self-deprivation rituals. Also, it's all the rage in hipster cirlces, and God knows I want an in with those hipsters.So I give you the... Read more...
Published 5 months ago
