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Latest blog posts from I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog

A Working Man
When I explain my lack of leisure time to friends, they say, "It's called having a job," or, "Welcome to the real world," or, "At least you're not selling your body." I'll leave him anonymous.My job is not 40 hours a week like my paycheck says. I must add my two and a half hour daily commute to...
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Published 6 days ago

Colors
The joy of living in the largest winter-deciduous forest in the world...
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Published 3 weeks ago

The Real First Black President
Barack Obama will not be America's first black president because we already had one: President David Palmer.Palmer was such a good president that he was assassinated, and then came back to life in the form of Sergeant Major Jonas Blane on CBS' The Unit.Well, maybe Palmer was only the president on...
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Published 4 weeks ago

Bleach
PepperoniNip and I visited Hamburgers, who is in the UVA hospital with an infection and we think (and hope) he is improving on antibiotic treatment. Being there felt uncomfortable. It's the all-too-familiar odor that bothers me the most. Walking freely and not being tied down by IV tubing made me...
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Published 4 weeks ago

Undies
I gathered fallen leaves and spread them on the porch. I positioned a green spotlight on the dogwood in the front yard. I chalked an outline of a dead Frankenstein on my driveway. I played The Undertaker’s theme song on repeat, the bells tolling, signaling the annual night of ghosts and...
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Published a month ago

So Far Away (Part III of III)
So Far Away (Part I of III)So Far Away (Part II of III)The hospital I left behind was the same one that successfully treated me for my first cancer, and without hesitation, took me in when I got home from Minnesota. The hospital was directly associated with my cancer, one of the most important...
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Published 2 months ago

So Far Away (Part II of III)
So Far Away (Part I of III)I was superior to others at handling my first cancer. I looked down on them, either thinking they were inferior humans or I was superhuman. For self-serving reasons I normally chose the latter. Now for the first time, five months after my transplant, 16-year-old Ben...
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Published 2 months ago

So Far Away (Part I of III)
I was frigid, shaking, and terrified. The five or six blankets I was under, a couple straight out of the hospital’s blanket incubator, weren’t effective. I wished I had my own giant hen to sit on me. Or I could set myself on fire.When my body’s temperature increased, I felt the opposite. I...
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Published 2 months ago

The Sound of the Shofar shall set you Free
I called over our very attractive waitress. I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help myself. My roommates T-Unit, Mr. Mountain Dew, and I were at Chili’s during happy hour for â€" what else? â€" the free chicken wings. Mr. Mountain Dew liked spicy food, but his body rejected it like mine...
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Published 2 months ago

The Rug
Meet Link, the ferocious dog of my friend, Formula-6.Link stays in Formula-6's office during the day. The women who come in for appointments go ape shit over this dog. They talk to Link like they would talk to a baby human, which I've always found odd. "How's my little Linky Linkster doing today?...
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Published 2 months ago

A Birthday of Sorts
I remember what my adolescent brain understood on my first visit to my soon-to-be cancer hospital, and the rest is a blur. The main floor was enormous. It had an auditorium, a coffee bar, countless waiting rooms and at least three sets of elevators. The floor was granite tile.Then there was the...
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Published 3 months ago

From Sydney to Beijing
American track stars were on the TV, but I didn’t watch. The 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney symbolized the end of summer and the peak of human performance. The best summer of my life was ending catastrophically and I was in a waiting room about to get a CAT scan of my lungs to determine,...
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Published 3 months ago