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Latest blog posts from Out of the Mouth of Dave

Sticky Gas Pedals ensure Victory for Toyota
The news about the Toyota recall was everywhere. Here was one of the largest automobile manufacturers in the world being forced to recall millions of cars, as a result of mechanical failures like stuck accelerator pedals.For a brand that has marketed itself on the safety and reliability of their...
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Published

"An Intelligent Celebrity" or Sasquatch - which is real?
Well the marketing gurus over at Fleechem Uncouth Cockman and Knight are back with another campaign that will have the public eating out of their hands.Fleecem Uncouth Cockman and Knight (now on referred to as FUCK) was the marketing firm that George Bush and his cronies used for the infamous...
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Published 2 weeks ago

HGH, Steroids and the modern Olympic Games
Unless you have been living in a cave with Osama, you are aware that the greatest sporting event ever has been running for the past two weeks in Vancouver Canada. I'm speaking of course about the Olympic Games.The very phrase " The Olympic Games" summons up an image of athletes competing fairly...
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Published 3 weeks ago

Tiger Woods and his latest product endorsement.
Tiger Woods has a press conference scheduled for today, and the entire world is a buzz with the possibilities of what he might say in his first appearance since his infamous martial "indiscretions" became fodder for the tabloids.Thanks largely to some of our contacts in the golfing industry we...
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Published 4 weeks ago

NY City Homeless Man talk of the town in Darfur
Peoples lifestyles have certainly taken a turn for the worse thanks to the economic crisis we find ourselves in. Husbands have cut back on extramarital affairs,mothers have resorted to feeding their children home cooked meals, and kids are forced to watch basic cable.There is some good news that...
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Published 2 months ago

"Test Tube Celebrity" - the latest craze from Tinseltown
It seems that everyone who considers themselves a celebrity now a days, has their own perfume or clothing line. Well the line of products stamped "Star Approved" has just increased thanks to some innovative and savvy celebrity surgeons.The founding surgeons of an exclusive Beverly Hills clinic...
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Published 2 months ago

The Smart Phone breaks news ground with latest app.
The article was hidden at the bottom of the page, near the back of the latest edition of the Scientific Armenian. Nestled between the ads for a "Cozy home in Detroit overlooking the smelters" and an itinerary for the latest Nadia "Octomom" Suleman autograph signing tour, was an article that...
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Published 2 months ago

The Real "Nativity Story"
At the risk of putting myself on a Vatican City blacklist, I wanted to focus this post on "The Nativity Story". I'm sure you've heard about it, it's the one about a down on your luck carpenter who's wife gave birth to the son of God in a barn. I know eh? What kind of story line is that? Well...
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Published 3 months ago

A glance into the past....
Tis the season to buy back scratchers and curse the credit card companies. Damn you Jesus why did you have to be born on Christmas of all days??? It's busy enough at this time of year.Between the time I spend delousing the homeless, and saving Malaysian orphans from Brad and Angelina, I have not...
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Published 3 months ago

The Perfect Murder Weapon
I have figured out how to commit the perfect murder. Yeah you read that right, the perfect murder and there is no way those fancy CSI folks could catch you. I tell you if OJ had done this years ago he would be out there right now playing golf instead of um err...oh never mind. I did not start...
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Published 4 months ago

Birth of the Frankenpenis
We certainly live in interesting times. Just the other day, Scientists where able to create a fully functional rabbit penis grown from penis cells harvested from one unhappy donor rabbit. Don't believe me you can read it here My first thought after reading the article was "What the @#*&!??" We...
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Published 4 months ago

Is that a Burrowing Owl in your bed?
Everywhere you look nowadays your eyes are assaulted by the advertising message of the current crop of environmental do gooders. Stop the seal hunt,Reduce Reuse Recycle,Save the Burrowing Owl - Save the Rainforest - Only you can save the planet! Bla Bla Bla -Baa Humbug I say to all of...
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Published 4 months ago