Relationships in-between humans are rather difficult to decipher and if misunderstood, they have a great potential to initiate so much pain. Every relationship goes through certain “baby” steps, each time becoming firmer and more intimate. As human beings, we are very different, thus at the point when we are only strangers the tendency to be hyper-vigilant towards others is exhausting. Moreover, it is expected of us to loosen up with time and become more relaxed and trusty, and that is hard my friend.
You can never be sure of someone else’s state of mind because it’s so fluctuant and the potential for a surprise is incredibly high. Through struggles of a relationship one can not only create an idea about the certain other, but also one can learn quite a lot about themselves and their stands during the process.
It would be far easier if people’s emotions would be defined by their genetic codes as certain something, and not this weird changeling combination that mutates every now and then, pretty difficult to track. Gosh, would that be boring? Yet enough with the drama. We are as we are and as such we tend to engage in various relationships through our lifetime, relationships that bring all kinds of emotions to our hearts be it joy, sadness, anger and comfort. The miraculous turnover from strangers to intimacy, this electrical mayhem than initiates’ sparkles in our eyes and butterflies in our stomach is still this irresistible mystery we all seek for.
Once the enchanting journey through the clouds of the seventh heaven is over, we stop shitting rainbows and experience a reality check that is much deeper and complex and most importantly real and supposed to follow us through the days to come. A relationship is actually about to start at this particular moment when the smoke has vanished and the air is clear.
You know your relationship is heading for the right direction when you:
1. Feel good in your skin
As long as you feel free to express your true being around your partner, without the need to censorship your thoughts and ideas you are off to a good start. The moment the confusing voices in your head retire is the moment your relationship start to blossom.
You will of course still have doubts and difficulties when trying to make a decision or merely a point, yet no matter how ridiculous they sound, you will eagerly say them out loud without hesitating and laugh together in the end. Together to conquer the world shall be written over your foreheads.
2. Scream indepen-dance
For some time now you feel like you’ve mastered the art of the relationship; there are no more white lies, hiding in the closet, improvised answers or simply hesitation stillness. Finally you have reached the point where you truly open up your heart to the significant other and embrace each other as one whole package. Stop right there.
It does feel good to become one in a relationship, however very soon you will notice how much you’ve missed your old you, your individuality. Its OK to share thoughts and maybe interests along sharing a life together, yet one shall hold on to some of our own personal pursuits.
Before ever being in this relationship you might have been on your own, which can be just as fun as being with someone. A relationship is supposed to bring us to share our whole potential, and not just fill up the semi-empty part of our souls. We are one whole be it in or out of a relationship, yet we seek for the certain someone to encourage all this wholeness drift.
None can fill the blanks for you, so if that’s the case run away and don’t look back.
The moment you realize that your partners success made you feel pride over jealousy is that moment when you’ve accepted him as a part of your own therefore his earnings are to be your earnings as well (not speaking materially). If you are still feeling inferior to your partners growth and secretly wished him to stop and reach out for you than you might consider taking a break and thinking things through. A relationship is when two people try to push each other’s limits for the best and egoistic behavior shall take no place there. And this applies to both of them.
4. No fixing, none is broken.
A relationship is all about trust and patience. Accepting the certain other for who he/she is comes after long and intimate conversations on various issues, personal stands and requests. The moment that you decide to treat each other equally and realize that no matter how much you can disagree on whatever your partner is saying at the moment its worth giving it a shot and carefully listening until the end is the moment that you will realize how important that person is in your life. If you are looking at your partner as a make-over project , unfortunately you will both end up disappointed and hurt in the end.
5. You’re peaceful.
It’s impossible to be happy all the time as it’s impossible to always reach a mutually blissful agreement when in a relationship. As long as you understand and agree that is the best way to do it, no matter without it being your first choice. No one shall force you into doing something you really don’t feel like doing; that is out of the question. However, when in a relationship sometimes one might need to be reminded that the decisions we make from that point on don’t only affect ourselves but also our partners thus there shall be compromise.
You know that your relationship is heading in the right direction if when opposed to a problem, you will rather sit don’t and put your arguments on the table and together decide which way is more beneficial for both, then start acting all selfish and victimizing yourself becomes your best shot.
The idea behind the relationship is to lean on each other when the situation gets out of control instead of trying to put the blame on the partner as a result of some unnecessary anxiety attack.
Again, just as every person is different, every relationship is just as different as the people in it. In every relationship one experiences no matter if its long or short, the chance to learn how to let go of some of your own worthless caprices aiming for a greater peace and serenity is presented. Ergo, from every relationship you might come up with a single piece of the bigger picture.
And that bigger picture is where every relationship shall be heading.